He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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