I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
