So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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