Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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