Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
