So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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