I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
