am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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