so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
