If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
