Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Soap is not a condiment
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
