I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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