i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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