Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize