Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
