I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
