i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
