You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
