i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
