what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
