I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
