There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
