I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I looked at my own cervix.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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