I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
