alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
