Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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