my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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