Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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