i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize