Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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