when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
