I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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