You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She even gives head with a lisp.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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