It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
