i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
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Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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