I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize