So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
