mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize