You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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