Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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