Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
