I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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