I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
