Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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