I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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