he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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