two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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