what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
