Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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