the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
