I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
