I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize