My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
