there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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