So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
bring money and cleavage
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
