I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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