If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize