Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
