My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
3pm strippers are depressing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
