Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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