Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
