i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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